This Is My Song and I Sing
(And More!)
May 2009
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"This Is My Song and I Sing"
by Virginia Knowles
This is my song and I sing
Lyric of life, medley of my days
Melody and harmony
Solo, duet, chorale, round
Love song and lullaby
Anthem and protest chant
Rhapsody and dirge
Staccato, legato, crescendo, rest
Measure on measure, mystery on mystery, mercy on mercy
Stories of love, loss, faith, adventure, struggle, hope, grief, Heaven at last
I sing my own part as only I can
These lines, this life, penned by One who sang me into being
Who still rejoices over me with singing
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!
This song of my pilgrimage
A cry of jubilee long coming
Echoing into an eternity of praise
This is my life and I live it
This is my song and I sing.
~*~*~
Weeks ago, a friend e-mailed and asked for advice in an area where she knew I had some real life experience. Something serendipitously dawned on me as I replied to her: Everything we go through in life, whether it is thrilling, joyful, confusing, distressing, challenging or simultaneously all of the above – all of it becomes part of our “life song”: the message that we communicate to those around us, even when we don’t they are listening or watching. The phrase “this is my song and I sing” started dancing in my head, so the next day I sat down and rough drafted the poem. I set it aside for several days, then finally finished it two weeks ago and shared it with a few close friends and family members. I hope it will be a blessing to you as well, maybe a comfort on a day of struggle or grief.
There are so many things I could say in conjunction with the lines of this poem. The one I most want to share with you is that God did not design you with a cookie cutter, and he didn’t abandon you on his drawing board either. You are unique and you are loved! Your story is one-of-a-kind, even while it is interconnected and overlapping with so many others. You may not conform to the expectations that others have for you. You may even encounter plot twists that you never thought you would see written into God’s script for your life. Yet when viewed through the clear and far-seeing lens of his providential care for you, whatever you experience can take you a deeper place, a richer grace. You may find a new song rising in your heart. You will be equipped to thrive with more endurance in the future. You could gain the courage to lay down some baggage that’s been weighing heavily on you or to stand up for a cause that has now become dear to you. You might empathize more compassionately with others whom you would have otherwise been tempted to judge harshly – and you will be able to advise them more wisely as they walk through the same things in life. And if I can give you some hard-won advice gained through my own challenging experiences, it is to trust in the Lord who watches over us, whose abundant grace and mercy are available to all who enter into his Throne Room. Don’t evaluate yourself by the performance of others who are on your Pedestal of Perfection or in your Hall of Fame. You have your own beautiful song to sing, your own sacred life to live. The world awaits your melody!
~*~*~
There are several articles on my web site and blog which relate to the thoughts above. I have linked many of them at the end of this issue, but I wanted to highlight one in particular, Truth and Grace in the Stories of Our Lives , as it helps us to think through our own life journeys and how even the rough and confusing spots can be redeemed and reinterpreted to glorify God.
~*~*~
YOUR UNIQUE HOME SCHOOL FAMILIY
What you see above is my more general comments on “This Is My Song and I Sing.” Now I would like to share about how these thoughts can apply in your family and home education.
If you have been around the home education movement long enough, you’ve probably noticed that there are so many vastly different opinions floating around out there. A trip to any large home school convention will certainly demonstrate this, but you will find it even in a small support group setting! Many people are so enthusiastic about their own approach that they end up communicating, perhaps unconsciously, that theirs is the best or only way of doing things. In many cases, this borders on legalism. Some of you have been burned by this, not only in the area of academics, but also in lifestyle choices. Unfortunately, I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of this kind of advice. Please forgive me if I have coming across as knowing it all! I most certainly don’t! I’m learning right along with you.
I’ve been observing the home school movement for over 20 years -- long enough to see the tragic fallout that can result when parents become disillusioned with the results, or worse yet, when children rebel because they are unnaturally forced like square pegs into round holes. Yes, there is a time to listen to the opinions of others and learn what you can from them. This kind of humility models a teachable spirit to your children. However, we also need the kind of wisdom that thinks through the issues carefully and asks God for guidance for our own families. We also need the kind of respect for our own children that takes their individual personalities, preferences and giftings into account without “accommodating” laziness, disrespect, or moral laxity.
Another important consideration is that we should not educate our children only in terms of what we are trying to AVOID but what we are trying to ENCOURAGE. In other words, we should be nurturing a wholehearted relationship with their Creator, which will in turn spark their creativity and change their behavior from the inside out. If we focus only on outward prohibitions, our kids can get quite proficient at faking it, or they can turn into self-righteous legalists who look down on everyone else, or they can resist either passively or aggressively. I can tell you I’ve made a whole bunch of mistakes along the way, and I’d like to spare you from hitting some nasty potholes.
As Josh McDowell has said, “Rules without relationships reap rebellion.” We do need rules, but maybe a word picture will help. A good common illustration about setting limits is that it is like a fence around a playground. The kids can play more securely there because the fence helps prevent them from getting lost, or being snatched by a predatory stranger, or falling into the path of a car while running after a ball. This is important! However, the fence is not the focal point of the playground. The real attractions are the slide, the swings, the climbing fort, the wide open places to run, the picnic tables, and most of all, the loving mommies and daddies who brought them there to enjoy family fun and get their exercise.
The positive life-affirming experience of learning and loving is what really builds our children! We want them to be able to sing joyful, passionate, heartfelt songs with their lives – reflecting glory to the very God who has endowed them with rich gifts and precious uniqueness! As Gary Thomas wrote in Holy Available: What If Holiness is About More than What We Don’t Do? (formerly titled The Beautiful Fight):
“God didn’t create you not to do something; if that had been his goal, he never would have formed you, because if you never existed, you never would have sinned. God made each of us in his image, and he wants us to recapture that image, to surrender to his work in our lives, so that we “will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor” (Isaiah 61:3).
I could write more about this whole topic, but I think it’s time to get off my soap box and just recommend two books that cover it so much better than I could. Both of these books have been updated since the editions I have. The descriptions of them come from the Christian Book Distributors web site. If you click on the titles below, it will take you to the pages there, and you can actually read samples of the books on-line by clicking on Excerpt. Please read the samples – especially Monte Swan’s -- even if you don’t plan to buy the books! You can learn so much even from a short snippet!
Romancing Your Child’s Heart by Monte Swan: Good parenting isn't only about controlling your kids' behavior---it's about winning their hearts for God! Blending practical advice with real-life child-rearing scenarios, Swan shows how to move beyond parent-child power struggles toward genuine "heart teaching." Discover creative ways to shepherd your kids toward a transforming relationship with Jesus---and watch good behavior follow! 280 pages, softcover from Loyal.
Reaping the Harvest: The Bounty of Abundant-Life Home Schooling by Diana Waring: Just as harvesting a garden means kicking up some dirt, raising teenagers often gets messy. Diana's grace-filled and experience-based approach to parenting shows you how to build strong relationships, avoid "typical teen" behavior, lovingly instruct your children on the path toward maturity, and enjoy one another. 224 pages, softcover from YWAM. (Virginia’s note: This book is primarily for parents who are home schooling TEENAGERS, but even if you aren’t “there” yet, read it anyway – or get her earlier book Beyond Survival: A Guide to Abundant-Life Homeschooling.)
I also wanted to mention an excellent article by Reb Bradley on "Solving the Crisis in Homeschooling," which begins: "In the last couple of years, I have heard from multitudes of troubles homeschool parents around the country, a good many of whom were leaders. These parents have graduated their first batch of kids, only to discover that their children didn't turn out the way they thought they would. Many of these children were model homeschoolers while growing up, but sometime after their 18th birthday they began to reveal that they didn't hold to their parents' values." Intrigued? You can find this "must read" article here: www.familyministries.com/HS_Crisis.htm
Before I close this article, I wanted to mention that my own book The Real Life Home School Mom, covers a whole gamut of topics related to the emotional, spiritual, and logistical aspects of the home school lifestyle. I have a few copies in stock, so if you are interested in ordering one before I reprint for my regular summer book season, just let me know. They cost $18 each, or $22.47 including $3 shipping and $1.47 tax. (These copies, due to an error at the printing company, are printed on one side of each page only, so they are double thick but with plenty of room to write your own reflections on them!)
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PSALMS STUDY GUIDE
This next year in our home school co-op, I am again teaching the 7th-8th grade English class. A six week literature study on the Old Testament will kick off the fall semester. I have put my tentative lessons for our week on Psalms on-line. You can find them here: www.VirginiaKnowles.com/PsalmsStudyGuide. I think we can all learn to “sing our lives” better as we immerse ourselves in the Psalms!
I’m thankful that the Bible Bee has included so many verses from Psalms in their Scripture memorization lists. (Over 17,000 kids are signed up! Registration is closed, but you can still download study materials.) I am learning the passages right along with my children. Here are three from Psalms that I like the most:
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:18-19
“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” Psalm 126:5-6
~*~*~
MY ODYSSEY FROM “RENAISSANCE” TO “REFORMATION”
by Virginia Knowles in August 2005
When I was about seven years old, living in a suburb of San Francisco, my parents made a really wise decision: they pulled the plug on our TV! We were addicted to sit-coms and needed to use our time more productively. For the next several years, we had the opportunity to develop creatively and intellectually without as much distraction. Mom and Dad took us to concerts, plays, Renaissance Fairs, art and history museums, ethnic restaurants, and many other cultural places. We often went camping in the Sequoia National Park and Yosemite. (The picture is our family at Crater Lake in Oregon in the mid 1970's. I'm on the right. Yes, we looked like hippies and my brother's hair was much longer than mine.) We grew blackberries, corn and tangerines in the backyard, and pansies, golden poppies and plums in the front yard. We could go to a bookstore and buy anything we wanted. We took art, music and drama classes in the community. I can’t count how many musical instruments we had in the house. My brother John played the trumpet, trombone, piano, synthesizer, organ, and other instruments, while Barb specialized in the cello. They were active in band and orchestra, so there was always a great high school musical to attend! They were much more self-disciplined than I was, but I did take piano lessons for several years, and later added the mountain dulcimer and guitar to my repertoire. We also attended music theory, history and performance classes at a local conservatory for quite some time. Yes, we were quite a “Renaissance” family when it came to the arts and book knowledge. However, for all the blessing this was, I remained deep in the spiritual “Dark Ages” for these preteen years in the mid 1970s. God was missing from all of our pursuits!
You see, historically speaking, the Renaissance in southern Europe was largely a rebirth of classical, humanistic knowledge. The Reformation in northern Europe, on the other hand, was saturated in Scripture and a total reliance on the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. I already had the Renaissance in my life. It wasn’t enough. I needed a personal Reformation, a total rebirth and reshaping from the inside out. Then came July 1976. I had just finished 7th grade and mocked the crazy Christians who tried to witness to me. Yet in his mercy, the Lord reached down and saved me when I certainly wasn’t looking for him. Thus started a spiritual odyssey that not only gave me citizenship into God’s kingdom, but transformed my approach to creativity, the arts, and learning in general.
In Spring 1977, we moved from San Francisco to Baltimore. In my new chorus class at school, I sat next to a sweet girl named Anne Rittler, who invited me to Timonium Presbyterian Church. Her parents were so faithful to drive me there for Sunday services and youth meetings. It was here that I began a season of intense Bible study, fell in love with Christian literature, learned countless hymns and Christian folk songs, sang in the youth choir, went to a James Ward concert, and was sent on my first overseas summer mission trip. After a mere year and half, our family moved to northern Virginia. In this new chapter of life, I blossomed even more creatively in the faith. Inspired by the Saturday Night Alive praise and worship services sponsored by two local churches, as well as Keith Green and 2nd Chapter of Acts concerts, I started writing my own Christian songs and setting psalms to music. My oil painting took on inspirational themes such as Christ’s sacrifice, prayer, and entering into God’s presence. I devoured Christian books and magazines, and decided to go to business school so that someday I could own a Christian bookstore. When I picked up my pen or sat at the computer to write, it was to encourage my fellow believers and to witness to those who didn’t yet know the Savior.
As God graciously brought this Reformation to each facet of my life, learning and the arts became a means to not only worship my Creator (who made each of us in his creative image) but to reach out with a redemptive mission and a message. This is what I also try to do as I home school my children. I don’t want to just expose them to the best in art, music, literature, and so forth – though these are very good things. I want to aim for spiritual transformation – to encourage them to seek God wholeheartedly and to use their gifts for the Kingdom rather than for themselves. We have a long way to go in this area; I must continually set myself to fresh resolve. This is also my prayer as I write each Hope Chest issue or book -- that whatever I say will bring honor and glory to him who gave me each gift.
Talk About It: How has God worked to draw forth creativity in your life? How can you use his gifts for his glory?
~~~
This article originally appeared in the August 2005 edition of the Hope Chest. You can read that entire issue here: Making Melody in Our Hearts.
I put it on my blog recently as a follow up to another post, Childhood Memories: Our Kansas City Years which hints about the value of a warm welcome and of books in a child’s life. I also wrote it to encourage other parents to share their life stories with their children, knowing that our experiences have shaped us into who we are. Looking at photo albums can be a great way to ease into this. You can see some of my own childhood photos, including one of me sitting on top of our refrigerator, at Growing Up in the Quarrier Family.
I’m trying to make and preserve memories with my own kids, too. You can see pictures of some of them at: Fresh Air: Kids, Flowers, Trees, Bikes, Lizards and Other Fun.
Want to have some fun with your kids? Check out free bowling at http://www.kidsbowlfree.com/index.php and free family movies at http://www.regmovies.com/nowshowing/familyfilmfestivalschedule.aspx? (Thanks to my friend Kim Carbia for sending these links!)
My friend Lisa Stump, after reading “This Is My Song and I Sing” sent me this link to a beautiful poem called “Music” by Anne Porter. Lisa wrote her own poem which you can find on my blog here: “Morning Glory” & Hope After a Stroke by Lisa Stump.
~*~*~
SUMMER READING
My kids, bless their hearts, have been writing lists of books they want to read this summer. My own summer reading goals include boning up on government and economics, of which I am woefully ignorant. To ease into it, I’m starting out with a broader foundation of The Consequences of Ideas by R.C. Sproul, a philosophy/theology book that Mary used in high school. My friend Phyllis handed me a copy of Why You Can’t Stay Silent: A Biblical Mandate to Shape Our Culture by Tom Minnery. I am still looking for a basic Christian book on government. I am also going to reread Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noël Piper, which profiles five outstanding Christian ladies: Sarah Edwards, Lilias Trotter, Gladys Aylward, Esther Ahn Kim, and Helen Roseveare. I must confess that I borrowed a copy from my friend Debbie a few years ago and never returned it (shame on me!), since I intended to read it again. Now I can finally give her copy back, because all of the moms at church received one as a gift for Mother’s Day.
I also try to skim several noteworthy blogs each day. I keep these nicely organized using Google Reader. From my Gmail account, I click on the Reader tab at the top of the screen. Once I enter the web addresses of blogs I want to follow, it will automatically show me anything new, right in one convenient place. It keeps me from hopping around or trying to remember what I wanted to read. If you have any recommendations for me, or if you write your own blog, please send me the links! Here are several of the blogs I try to at least skim regularly… (Yes, I do read blogs VERY fast.)
- Tim Challies: Informing the Reforming http://www.challies.com/
- Girl Talk: Conversations on Biblical Womanhood and Other Fun Stuff http://www.girltalkhome.com/
- Metro Life Moms http://metromomsblog.org/ is a ministry of our church. If you click on May 2009 under the Mom’s Meetings heading in the right hand side bar, you can listen to veteran home school mom and pastor’s wife Sheree Phillips sharing on the topic of Titus 2 mentoring. The current series on the blog is summer fun, and the previous one was mentoring. Good stuff here!
- A Wise Woman Builds Her Home by June Fuentes: www.proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/
- There’s Always a Story: www.CherylBastian.blogspot.com
- Mission Network News: http://mnnonline.org
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OK, I think that’s more than enough for now! I would appreciate your feedback on what you liked best!
Blessings,
Virginia Knowles